When I was a young boy, I was totally into a racing genre video games. Back then, I really loved to play Need for Speed(NFS) Porsche Unleashed title which was the best one among the early 20s racing games.
In the game, I just got into a Porsche Boxster, I could drive it here and there as I wished. And then found out Boxster is a very fancy, gorgeous and luxurious car. After that, I dreamed the moment that I'm driving the car in my real life.
About 15 years later, I ordered a real Porsche Boxster and had to wait for about 6 months to get it in my hands from Germany. That was the moment I've waited for a long long time since my childhood. Wow, but I had to pass it to an other guy because of unexpected my work. I had to leave South Korea for 1 year. Sucks!
These days I just wait for the moment going back to South Korea and drive Boxster.
I must order it again.
Sometimes, we need a big shot which makes us more energetic.
I've been living in China since the beginning of this year to study Chinese and its culture. Before came to China actually, I had one major goal-and yet still- to achieve, writing a book. Come to think of it, I've somewhat hesitated to start it because of learning Chinese. It's annoying more than I expected, It took me a lot of time struggling.
Recently, I visited in one of my favorite websites, Fabien Sanglard, and found out his one of activities is writing a game engine black book and it is just out of corner. Yes! That is what I've dreamed long time ago. Also, I am finally sick and tired of this Chinese life. It informs me a moment to go on to the next stage.
So far, I believe I'm familiar with Chinese (a little probably?), and need a new one to simultaneously go with. Writing a book in regard to a S/W techniques and that would be a sort of the UI engine black book.
Just bought "VOLGARR THE VIKING", a pc game from the steam. When I looked its screenshots, it seemed like a classic dos game (that's why I downloaded). Its game play is very simple, just go forward and kill monsters by levels, but very interesting and addictive. If you've ever played "Ghosts 'n Goblins" before and you loved it, you probably love this game well. And you must know before playing it, the game requests a sort of a hardcore game play... Be attention! :p
We need to overcome "the terror of voidness" to finish our own great goal.
The loneliness comes when nobody knows about our work.
The voidness comes when the loneliness continues for a long time.
And then finally,
it turns to the lethargy.
The lethargy ends up with the terror and bipolar disorder.
Most of time, however, we fails to overcome the ordeal.
As a result, we give up the great goal.
If we cannot overcome it,
we will never achieve our goal.
또 그 사람 꿈을 꿨어요.
잠에서 깨어났을 땐 그는 거품처럼 사라졌어요.
꿈과 현실을 구분하지 못하고 방황했어요.
손을 뻗어도 그에게 닿질 못하고
찢어질 듯한 고통 속으로부터 온 힘을 다해 벗어났어요.
순간 정신을 차렸는데 실명한 것 같았어요.
이런 상실감 정말 참을 수가 없네요.
또다시 눈을 뜰 수가 없어요...
사랑해서는 안될 사람을 사랑했어요.
해서는 안될 사랑에 빠져버렸어요.
제 욕심이 지나치다는 것을 알면서도 어째서 또 기대를 하나.
결국 아무것도 남지 않았다는 것을 알았는데도.
집착하면 안되는 것을 알면서 또 아파했어요.
그의 사진을 보고 울었어요.
또다시 제 존재를 확인해보지만,
무슨 의미가 있나요.
그가 지금 저에게 설명하기 어려운 이유가 있을 거라고 믿어요.
사실 가망성이 없다는 것도 알고 있어요.
스스로를 속일지라도 진실은 변하지 않죠.
이런 절, 누가 이해해줄 거라고 기대하지도 않아요.
People may think you are an extroverted person.
Because you look an extraordinary character in front of people.
On the stage, you are a nice leader carrying good quality of speech skills on your back.
However after went down behind from the stage, you feel silent cold air overwhelms you.
Only few people can see the real of you.
You are likely to help them for the great party but once it's getting started to the climax,
you go backside of the stage, take a breather and then you smile with a glass of wine.